Thoughts on sleep from an adoptive Mama.

Sleep is overrated. I mean - don't get me wrong - I love sleep! I am 26 weeks pregnant and so I really really love sleep. You know who isn't such a fan? My son, Kab. He is not a fan of curling up in his bed and enjoying a good nights rest. Well not independently anyway. Tonight as we attempted for third time to get him to sleep in his crib I realized a few things. Sleep is way more fun with the people you love. And this little boy - he hasn't had that opportunity. My heart breaks into about a million pieces when he begins to cry and cling to me in my attempt to give him his freedom to sleep alone. But this "gift" that we are giving him isn't so thoughtful. He has never had the advantage of being rocked and showered with songs every night in his comfy footy pjs with a lush crib waiting for him - filled with soft blankets and his puppy blanky- then waking up to those same loving arms the next day. How dare we assume that he wants to detach from the comfort of this mamas papas arms?!!? After all - every woman and man in his life has been inconsistent and has disappeared. Gone. How do I even begin to comfort that loss? I don't even have the fortitude to comprehend what that feels like to my 16 month old son. So for now I will hold him and love him and kiss him every day until one day he isn't afraid to go to sleep, because he knows we will be there. My sweet sweet boy. If only you knew a fraction of our love for you! Someday.
Until then - sleep is overrated - unless you are with the ones you love...

Photo dump - week one with the kiddos

One Week.

That is right. It has been one incredible week since our kiddos came home.  I could write about 1,000 different posts about everything - every emotion, every first, every challenge, every laugh.  But hey, I have two kiddos who are here to keep me busy, so I will not be regaling you with each and every detail.  I do however have time to give you the highlights of each day.

Saturday
Saturday I got up at 2:30 so that I could talk to my hubby who was boarding a plane to fly from Brussels to Washington, then I proceeded to get ready to hop on a plane.  I could NOT have made this trip if it weren't for one VERY special lady who donated a TON of airmiles to get me from Nashville to Washington DC.  Thank you special lady - who also happens to be one of my favorite, most hilarious women.  So - I flew from Nashville to Detroit (slight layover) and then to Washington.  I arrived in Washington about two hours prior to the my family's arrival - so I meandered about and tried VERY hard to NOT jump out of my skin.  I sat at the top of the stairwell, emotions at an all time high, waiting to see white hair (a sign that the Chalos family had arrived - thanks Mitch and Kim :) ).  Finally Mitch came riding up the escalator and bounded toward me with such a smile. We got a quick hug in, and he got out the camera just in time to catch my first interaction with the kids.  It was just incredibly surreal.  The two kids that I have waited for, prepared for, prayed for, cried for - were finally in my arms.  Etta was very smiley and happy.  She gave me a big "Hi Mama" to which I momentarily lost all control of every emotion.  My sweet Kab was pretty content for me to hold him and walk with him.  He let me hold him as we made our way to our flight.  I have to give BIG props to the amazing people that flew home with us - as well as the terrific flight attendant - all of whom gave up seats and rearranged so that we could sit together.  Kab and Etta both sat with me for the flight and slept.  They were amazing, and I am pretty sure every parent on that flight was envious of their behavior.  We arrived in Nashville to a crew of friends and family who had spent so many hours, days, and months praying these kiddos home.   It was incredible to see them all waiting for us at the gate. Etta was not as much of a fan, but she did pretty well considering there were many crazy people grinning and smiling and crying and being VERY "American".  One day they will look back on these videos and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that MANY people loved them before they ever stepped foot on US soil.

So what happened after the airport?????
Well...
We went home.  We ate dinner.  We went to bed.  Kab had his first major blowout.  Etta had her first unfortunate accidental meeting with the dogs.  Buttermilk biscuits were made AS A FAMILY and then devoured as a family.  Gigi and Papou returned to the rolling hills  miles of cornfields in Indiana.  Lolli, Alli, and Uncle returned to the big Peach.  And there we were - this family of four.  By family I mean two sets of strangers meeting and getting accustomed to each others nuances, likes, dislikes, language, food, etc... We have come so far since that first morning.  Etta even allows the dogs to be in the same room.  We are learning so much about each other.  Not every lesson that we have learned has been an easy one.  Kab wanted NOTHING to do with me once we got home.  He wanted his Papa.  Guys - even though I expected it and COMPLETELY understood why - it was tough.  I wanted him - both of them - to more than love me.  I wanted them to like me.  Remember how he let me hold him the whole day that we met?  Well he was in "coping mode", which we are pretty sure was his permanent state at the transition house.  Since those first days, he has learned to love his Mama - dare I say, even like her?  I made sure to ALWAYS be the one to feed him - because food makes him VERY happy.  He even reaches for me at times.  When he is super tired, he still wants Papa, but we are making progress.  Baby steps people.  Baby steps.  (Speaking of - did I mention that Kab took his first steps? AHHHH... It was amazing.) Etta on the other hand seemed to attach pretty quickly to me.  I think maybe my experience with EL kiddos has been a help in that area.  We communicate pretty well.  I LOVE to listen to her speak in Swahili - which she tends to do for LONG periods of time.  She is her mother's child after all. :)  We use gestures, basic English phrases, pictures, and when all else fails - google translator is my best friend.  Google translator is how I helped her to understand that she can't get out of her bed 9 times a night just because she wants to.  THANK YOU google translator!
Speaking of sleep - THAT has been a challenge.  Jet lag plus the transition to a new house complete with central heat and air, real beds, and noise has been an adjustment.  We are finally learning a good bedtime, what naps should be like, and how to make that happen.  Sleep is a work in progress.  That is probably been the biggest adjustment for Chad and me.  We LOVE to sleep.  I especially adore sleep now that I am 25 weeks pregnant.   Sleep does not always happen.  But hey - you make it work.  We try really hard to work as a team and take turns.  It has gotten MUCH easier since Kab has become accustomed to his Mama.  So sleep is beginning to return (for a few months anyway), which makes for a happy family.  There is SO much more to say, but this is a start.  Tomorrow I will do a photo dump of the kiddos this past week - and soon Chad will start blogging about his time in country.  You may even see a guest post from Gigi and Papou.  Until then, good night guys!


Talk to you soon!
Mama Chalos
(of The Chalos Party of Five, formally known as The Chalos Party of Four)

WELL.

The kiddos are HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Visit our facebook page and catch up on all the details. :)

http://www.facebook.com/groups/103190713171002/

We will be back to REALLY tell you about our trip real soon. As for now, we will be busy playing, bonding and loving on our kiddos.  

Talk to you soon!

The Chalos Party of Four Five :) 

Chad, Kristle, Odette, Kab, and Harrison (Coming in Feb. 2013) 

So. No. We haven't abandoned you. I promise.

We have gotten really busy with lots of exciting things - that OF COURSE we can't share right now.  But I promise.  As soon as we can, we will let you know! Just asking that you kick your prayers into high gear in the near future.